Your Hot Old Man of the Month for April Is…

JEAN LUC PICARD!   Make it so!

My mom’s birthday is in April, so to (partially) celebrate, I picked someone my mother and I can agree on.  My mother is a huge Star Trek fan (and you wonder where I get my geekiness from?) and when we were kids, my mother would tell us during reruns of Star Trek:  The Next Generation how fantastically sexy Patrick Stewart was.   My sisters and I generally went, “Ew, YUCK!”

The other day, though, I caught a rerun of TNG where Picard nearly dies and Q allows him to relive his whole life again without any risk.   And I thought to myself, “Damn, Mom was right!”

So, Happy Birthday, Mom.  Cheers.   And yes, Patrick Stewart really is fantastically sexy.   I was wrong, you were right.

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Your Hot Old Man For January Is…

JOHNNY DEPP.

Smart, funny, handsome, charming – Depp has it all.   He’s only gotten better looking the older he’s gotten, which is rare if you think about it.    He can act in everything from Ed Wood to Pirates of the Caribbean to Benny and Joon and everything in between.   He’s here, there and everywhere!   And he’ll be portraying the Mad Hatter in an adaptation of one of my favorite childhood books.

Not finding Johnny Depp is sort of like not liking chocolate; it’s rare that you meet someone who doesn’t like it and they’re sort of viewed as a freak for not being on board the bandwagon   (If you don’t find Depp attractive, never fear!   You’re not a freak, you’re just in what is apparently a very small minority).

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Your Hot Old Man for December Is…

I am deeply, deeply ashamed of myself.

FOR SHAME!   For the year that I’ve been doing monthly hot old man posts, I had never given Liam Neeson his own month?  Really?   Did I just assume that everyone knew he was the king of the Hot Old Men and therefore went without mentioning?    Did I have some sort of accident wherein I lost my memory and forgot?

I don’t know but I’m making it up now.   Think of it as a Christmas present to myself!   Neeson as Mr. December, oh yes.    He was fabulous in Taken, deeply saddening in Schindler’s List, and charming in Love, Actually among the many, many great things he’s done on stage and on screen.

Yes, Merry Christmas (or Happy Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice or whatever beautiful holiday you may celebrate), boys and girls, have some Liam Neeson.

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Your Hot Old Man of the Month for November Is..

For Clarabela of Just Chick Flicks:

Alright, guys, bust out your fans as soon as you’ve pulled yourselves back upright again.   I know.   That just gave you all the vapors right there.

Hugh Jackman – he sings, he dances, he kicks ass!   He’s Wolverine AND does Broadway.   I’m sure he’s nice in real life but is he ever fabulous as the snarly, grouchy Wolverine.    (He does a damn fine job as Wolverine, too.)

He was a a great Oscars host and he tries to be in a variety of acting roles.   I think Hugh Jackman is probably a lot of folks’ Imaginary Celebrity Boyfriend, am I right?

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Your Hot Old Man for October is…

Laurence Fishburne!

Is there anything Laurence Fishburne can’t do?   He does every genre of film.   He was in Apocalypse Now, The Matrix, a Nightmare on Elm Street movie.   Hell,  he made a forgettable gangster part in the Assault on Precinct 13 remake sharp as hell and interesting as all get out.   (I totally forget Gabriel Byrne plays the baddie in this movie because of Laurence’s awesome part.)

Dude is smooth as hell and has one amazing voice.   Oh Lord, that voice; I may be in the minority here but I’ve always found him to be so damn attractive.   And he was effing Morpheus.   Shit, I even rewatch Event Horizon for him.

He’s a fantabulous actor and easy on the eyes.   Congrats, Mr. October.   (I’m sure that honorary doctorate pales in comparison to this stunning award, right?)

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Your Hot Old Man For September Is…

JAMES SPADER

AND I SHALL NOT HEAR ANYTHING TO THE CONTRARY.

(For reals!   He’s awesome!   He delivers insane closing arguments on Boston Legal!  …He was Blaine in Pretty in Pink.  OKAY?)

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Your Hot Old Man For July Is…

For Allison, I believe, who requested it.   Ask (and if I agree), you shall receive.

Image from here.

Start throwing your undergarments, ladies.   Hey, has anyone watched Lie To Me?  Is it any good?

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Say It With Me, Ladies: OM NOM NOM.

I also think there might be some men saying that too:

Via the incredibly awesome Den of Geek.

Sherlock Holmes might be the first movie I’ve ever seen on Christmas Day.  That’s the power of RDJ, people.

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Your Hot Old Man for May Is…

Jason Isaacs!

This dude made an evil British army officer sympathetic in a sick way to a lot of American ladies, yes?   And how is it that he is so effing handsome in every movie that he’s in?   HOW?   I don’t know.   Recommendation:  If you haven’t seen Showtime’s Brotherhood,  you should, because Mr. Isaacs is wonderful in it.

He’s Lucius Malfoy!   He was also quite yummy in Event Horizon, which I like even though the rest of the known world hates it.   He’s nice as the good guy, but I think we can all agree that his voice, that eyebrow and the whole package are nice as a villain, hmm?   (He plays the best villains, yes.)

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Your Hot Old Man for April Is…

Behold, friends, Romans and countrymen, and lend me your eyes, for I give you gratuitous Robert Downey, Jr.:

I’d like to say I was there on the RDJ-Love Train from the beginning, but I wasn’t.   I’m so glad Iron Man has brought him back on the radar of Hot Dudes, because he stole a chunk of my heart right out of my chest in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and I haven’t seen it since.   Bobby Downey, I’d like it if you returned that, please.   (If you haven’t seen Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang?   Please go see it.   As a favor to yourself, not me, because never has a movie earned the terms “snappy” and “zing-y” more than that one.)

And behind the cut, some really gratuitous RDJ for your viewing pleasure.

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