A Letter to Tarantino on Entertainment Value

Yo, Q:

I know you catch a lot of shit for cameoing in your own movies.   Sure, sometimes they’re not that good and sometimes, they are – and sometimes you’re in other folks’ movies being a delectable freakshow and a half (see:  From Dusk ‘Til Dawn).   I’m just saying that my favorite cameo of yours is one no one ever seems to remember/recognize/even know about.

Let’s face it.   Any movie where you’re dressed as an insane street preacher who says things like, “You make the Lord VERY NERVOUS” can only benefit from your presence.

(And if you’re me, you’re in the extreme minority by professing your love for said movie.)

Your cameo in Little Nicky is probably the best you’ve ever done.

Now, I’m not one for recycling characters, but I really don’t think you got enough mileage out of that one.   And I hear, maybe – possibly?, you’re going to be on American Idol soon.   If you were to actually dress up and carry on as this character, how RAD would that be?   You would outshine that crazy rhinestone Paula Abdul hands down and you’d have every headline in the country.

Alternatively, the press junkets for Inglourious Basterds would be extremely entertaining with you expounding upon the Will of the Lord and whatnot dressed as this, if the American Idol thing would be undoable.

It’s just a thought, you know.

Suggestively yours,

Caitlin

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A Letter to Tarantino on Dashing My Hopes

Dear Quentin,

Please do not be faking me out.

Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, a World War II epic about a group of Jewish-American soldiers, will open August 21st…

Quentin, you are the finest purveyor of well-made movie crack in existence.   One might even deem you a movie crackiste.   You’re that good.  So if you’re yanking our collective chains and this movie’s not ready come August 21st, I might have a slight problem.

And by that, I mean, I might cry.

I can totally see you going, “Oh, psyche!   Movie’s not ready yet!” and it’s just unfair to do that.   It’s more than unfair; it’s cruel and unusual punishment.   It’s mean.

I have bad feelings about this release date.   If any of my readers actually lived near me, I’d see about planning a field trip on August 21st to a decent movie theater, but I shan’t plan anything.   In fact, I’m going to put a big question mark on my calendar for August 21st, and we’ll just see if you do as promised.

Erring on the side of caution,

-Caitlin

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A Letter to Tarantino on Awesomeness

Mr. Tarantino – thank you.   I still have my doubts about Inglorious Bastards (or Inglourious Basterds, as you wish it to be called, apparently) but I do have to say, it takes a lot to make a grown woman nearly fall out of her seat due to the sheer power of amazing that the poster for Inglorious Bastards conveys.

Image via Cinematical.

It’s simple, yet striking.   It’s far different from all the other posters for your movies yet still conveys that certain sense of “I’m Crazy Quentin Tarantino!” that all your other posters have had.

And now I’m all atwitter for this damn movie – again.   HURRY IT UP, QUENTIN!

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