“For the love of God, tell people on your site not to go see this movie. If it spares one person from the piece of shit that movie is, then it is worth it. I have done my good deed to humanity. It is awful. You should not see it. You should not rent it. You should not buy it on DVD. AVOID IT. In fact, they ought to put that quote on the DVD box and send me a check for informing the public of that MOVIE CRIME.”
Want to know how it ends? Behind the cut.
I already knew the ending of Orphan thanks to Gawker; I even tried to warn Younger Sister about the ending. It was no use. She ponied up the cash to see it with her friend Rachel and came home cursing about it every inch of the way. “She’s not even a kid! She’s a freakin’ MIDGET PROSTITUTE!”
That’s right. “Something’s wrong with Esther,” alright, in the sense of she’s a thirty-something dwarf who kills families to seduce the dad. And Younger Sister implores you not to go see this, so I consider my duty done to you by passing this on.
1416 and Counting 
”She’s not even a kid! She’s a freakin’ MIDGET PROSTITUTE!”
*Runs out to buy tickets to this amazing, amazing film* :P
Schnookie, don’t lie – you know you want to sit through three hours of The Bad Seed, unless it took a wrong turn into malevolent-dwarf-hooker territory. (A recipe for success, am I right?)
Brynna and I were almost ready to go and watch this last night, but decided against it. I can’t remember why, but I’m glad we did!
I can’t remember why, but I’m glad we did!
Yeah, I’m glad you didn’t either. (It never in my wildest dreams occurred to me that ‘midget prostitute’ would be the resolution of this particular film. I would’ve felt horribly ripped off had it been me.)
Caitlin, you’re so right. One of my general rules of thumb for all things in life is that if its resolution is “midget prostitute who is mistaken for a child”, it’s a good, good thing.
I don’t know but that midget prostitute just sold me on seeing this flick! HAHA! I kinda wish I didn’t know that so I could express the great joy of the ending when I finally got to see it.
I knew the twist. I’m still curious, because Roger Ebert loves it. Maybe he likes midget hookers.
I honestly didn’t think it was that bad. To me, it just felt a bit slow. Then when all the crazy stuff happened, I was digging it. I didn’t pick up on the prostitute part though. I thought she was just horny.
-Jason
well… that’s certainly… something.
I had a PROPHETIC DREAM about this movie!
I dreamed that I was watching the movie (I’d only seen the trailers), with the main cast driving in a car. In the back seat was a mid-50s hag of a woman dressed as a child, and being treated as such by the parents. Everybody in the audience was completely oblivious. I was stunned that no one could see what was so obvious to me.
Turns out, she IS an old hag of a woman. TWIST!
-The staff and faculty at “24 Hours to Midnight: The Blog!”
http://24hourstomidnight.wordpress.com
Wait, isn’t this just a twist on the Baby Face Finster Bugs Bunny cartoon, or some awful Wayans flick?
Wait, isn’t this just a twist on the Baby Face Finster Bugs Bunny cartoon, or some awful Wayans flick?
You’re absolutely right, Morgan. (It does sound like that…)
I didn’t pick up on the prostitute part though. I thought she was just horny.
Younger Sister says there’s a part where it’s intimated where if you’re really paying attention, it’s there. She says she can understand how you missed it.
I’m still curious, because Roger Ebert loves it. Maybe he likes midget hookers.
Aww. Poor Roger Ebert. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. (I’m going to go out on a limb and say perhaps he doesn’t love midget hookers, maybe just enjoyed a film about them. :D)
Just watched it halfway and walked out. What a load of shit. I couldn’t take it anymore. Why don’t the kids just speak up, and then mom & dad can smack the shit out of this 33 year old imp. Really… read the rest of the plot on Wikipedia. Woooooooohooooooo. Utter CRAP.