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#1470: The Burning

The Burning – a boring slasher movie?  Yes.

Cropsy is the caretaker for Camp Blackfoot and one night, a scheming bunch of campers decide to pull a prank on ol’ Cropsy.   Cropsy also has the best killer name evah, because Cropsy sounds like the name of a drunk hobo.

Okay, so Cropsy kind of is a drunk hobo, but those wacky campers are about to scare him.   What they don’t know is that they might scare him…to DEATH!   (Insert ominous music here.)

The campers sneak into Cropsy’s tiny cabin and place the following by his bed, rapping on the window to wake his drunk ass up.

OMG TERRIFYING SKULLHEAD AT ONE O’CLOCK!

It’s not easy to rouse a man from a deep slumber brought on by copious amounts of Jim Beam and Budweiser, but the industrious campers beat on poor Cropsy’s window until he awakes in horror, knocking the terrifying skull…thing onto his sheets (which are the quickest igniting sheets I’ve ever seen), which catch fire and then the flames start eating at Cropsy.  As if he can’t catch a break, Cropsy flails out of bed and knocks over a gas can, sending the cabin and Cropsy’s entire body up into flames, causing Cropsy to go completely batshit and bust his way out of the cabin.

Watch out for the dude in flames!

Camper 1: Dude, this is MESSED. UP.

Cropsy: RRARRGHHHHHHHH!

Camper 2: He looks like that time that Brian stuck his marshmallow directly into the fire at the sing-a-long and I told him not to but he did anyways and it caught fire and got all black and nasty.  It’s a lot like that.

Cropsy: AGHHHGHHHHH!

Camper 3: Should we do something?

Camper 1: I don’t know.   Let’s think on it.

Cropsy: MPHHHPPHHHAGGGHH!

(more…)

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