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Posts Tagged ‘Romance’

I don’t think I can give this one a fair review.

emma

Let’s just get it out of the way.   The plot of Clueless is Emma.   They’re based on the same story.   If you haven’t seen Clueless then … I’m horrified and you need to go rent it, watch it, whatever, right now.   (Clueless is the better of the two.  “And may I remind you, it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty?”)   Emma is obsessed with matchmaking and her attempts to match up all her friends lead to disastrous results.

First of all, I’m deeply troubled by the fact that the movie poster seems to screw up both Toni Collette and Ewan McGregor’s names (seriously, do you proofread much, people?), but in the interest of transparency I feel that I should at least note that I abhor these sorts of movies.

One would think that I would be  a huge fan of pretty English people in fancy dresses with romantic problems, but I’m certainly not.   And while it may go against a lot of popular opinions, I am no fan of Jane Austen.   I find her outstandingly boring and I’ve never been huge on “romance” anyways, so I find most Austen film adaptations like Pride and Prejudice and others to be little more than an irritation or a cure for insomnia.   I can understand how others find them entertaining, but I do get tired of the constant waxing poetic about these adaptations of films by Austen and how adorably adorable and cute they are, primarily because it’s just variations on the same theme for me, personally.

Strike one.

Also, I find Gwyneth Paltrow insufferable.   Nine times out of ten, I’d prefer chewing on broken glass to watching Paltrow smug her way through a movie.   She always looks so distinctly pleased with herself.   Whatever she’s doing in a movie is always with a thin undercoating of derision and disdain.   Paltrow’s one of those people that I think very few folks fall in the middle with regards to their personality; I believe most people either really love Paltrow or really don’t care for her.  I personally can’t stand to watch her act because it’s always apparent that it’s Gwyneth Paltrow playing someone else.   The only exception I can readily offer up is her portrayal of Margot Tenenbaum, which I actually really like and will always give her a pass for it.

Not here, though.   It’s so distinctly Paltrow – so smug, so upper crust, so self-absorbed.   I get really tired of watching her because the moment you begin to buy her as a character, there is some smirk or eyebrow raise that reminds you you’re watching Gwyneth Paltrow.

A random aside:   I always imagined her and Daniel Day-Lewis getting together and having lots of smug-faced babies together because they are pretty much the epitome of the Smug, Dedicated To Their Craft kind of actor.   They both seem to be people who prattle on endlessly about the  high art of acting and preach on to the little folks about what they believe to be true.

I was so disappointed when Paltrow married that dude from Coldplay, mainly because he seems somewhat boring and at least if she had run off and married Daniel Day-Lewis, that would have at least made me laugh.   Daniel Day-Lewis has always struck me as the kind of guy that would quit acting to open his own haberdashery, proffering all sorts of statements about how creative and artistic and organic being a haberdasher was, only to promptly quit and go back to acting six months later.

But, alas, this did not happen.

gangs_of_new_york_2002_reference

This has nothing to do with Emma, but as you can see, this man loves hats.

Anyways, where was I?

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