Ouuuuuuch! Poor Bruce Willis.
Eddie Hawkins is a thief just released from prison. All he wants is a damn cappuccino, but before he can even get all the way out of prison, people are hassling him to take thieving jobs for them.
Enter several groups of people who want Eddie to steal the same things, a super rich couple, a bunch of government spooks and miscellaneous thugs. What all this centers around are a bunch of crystals that Leonardo Da Vinci used to turn lead into gold.
In other words, this convulted caper centers around alchemy of all things.
Bless Bruce Willis; he’s a charming guy who has a great screen presence. In fact, Willis has followed the John Wayne mode of acting, in which he seems to play a version of himself in every single movie. But charm can only sail a person so far.
There’s quite simply too much going on in Hudson Hawk; there’s so many plot twists, turns and implausibly convenient events that most would be hard pressed to keep up. Then there’s the sad fact that Hudson Hawk can’t even decide what kind of movie it wants to be. The movie’s a caper, buddy comedy, romance, action, screwball, slapstick mess. Every cast member tries to be too over the top, too jokey, too quirky. Sandra Bernhard as a rich lady is just obnoxious and Danny Aiello’s sweet and funny but ends up clotheslined by the ridiculous material he’s given. Even more exhausting is the fact that the filmmakers attempt to pack every gag possible in, to the point where I’m not sure there’s actually more than five seconds that passes in Hudson Hawk where something funny isn’t attempted. It’s tiresome and barely any of the jokes are funny.
As far as a guilty pleasure goes, Bruce Willis is, as I said, charming and he and Danny Aiello have some fun moments where they get to sing and joke around and be best buddies; Willis can capture moments of fun, whimsy and charm – it’s just sad that nothing else about this movie can.