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Posts Tagged ‘Aliens’

Paging Paul W.S. Anderson for a shellacking…

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Gimme a break.   Look, I don’t expect any sort of greatness from Alien vs. Predator.   It’s popcorn entertainment and money grubbery at it’s finest, sure, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get a few minutes of cheap thrills from it.   Unless…of course, you’re assuming someone with an attention span longer than ten seconds made it.

We begin with a group being assembled by Charles Weyland (yes, that Weyland of The Company) for purposes of an exploration in the Antarctic.

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Alexa is some sort of lady who likes to scale ice.   There’s an archaeologist in there too, somewhere.  The rest of them seem to be people who show up and do people-y things while looking grim.  Valuable assets, one and all.

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I feel so sorry for Ewan Bremner being in this movie.   I feel oddly affectionate toward him and have ever since seeing Trainspotting for the first time, but the acting well must really be dry, Ewan, or I hope you’re using that money to put your children through private school or something.

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Weyland assembles his crack team of the best and the brightest in the Antarctic because his satellite has found a mysterious pyramid where only the walls are hot.   He wants to explore this!   Most everyone else is totally on board with this plan, too!   A pyramid?  In the Antarctic!   Jeez, you just can’t make this stuff up.  I bet Paul W.S. Anderson slapped himself heartily on the back for that one.   How very clever, Paul.

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Soooo, my dearests, Piper over at Lazy Eye Theatre (I seem to be mentioning Piper quite a bit lately, no?) tagged me for the 12 Movies Meme, where the rules are as follows:

1) Choose 12 Films to be featured. They could be random selections or part of a greater theme. Whatever you want.

2) Explain why you chose the films.

3) Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre so I can have hundreds of links and I can take those links and spread them all out on the bed and then roll around in them.

4) The people selected then have to turn around and select 5 more people.

Well, unluckily for you, I’ve downright bit my nails to the quick thinking about the movies I would select and I’ve taken so damn long that there’s no one left to tag, it seems like!   So if you want to be tagged, consider yourself…tagged!  I will tag Allison at Nerdvampire’s Film Blog because I’m curious to see what she says.

First of all, if someone actually let me run 12 movies at some place like the New Beverly (which is rapidly gaining some sort of hip, chic street cred due to the fact that they let guys like Edgar Wright & Eli Roth come in and program long ass film festivals), I’m sure A) no one would care and B) someone would probably get fired as a result of my movie choices and or other options, but here we go.

MONDAY – HORROR

NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET III:  DREAM WARRIORS

Out of all the eight million and one half Nightmare on Elm Street movies, this is my favorite.   Sure, it’s  a pure shlocky sequel slasher flick, but it’s got great death scenes, a great premise and Zsa Zsa Gabor.   Come on, what’s not to love?   That, and I wanted to make a popsicle stick version of Nancy’s house too!

SUSPIRIA

Sure, it’s totally cliché to pick Suspiria, but it really is a landmark horror film.  I often describe Suspiria to people as a supernatural slasher film if Willy Wonka decided to take some hallucinogens and try his hand at movie making.   Never has death been so artfully pretty, really.    Who doesn’t want to see Suspiria on the big screen?

TUESDAY – MUSICALS

THE UMBRELLAS OF CHERBOURG

I know this may really shock some people, but I’m not too keen on musicals.  It’s not that I don’t like them, but they’re not like horror movies for me:  they’ve never really grabbed me.  Unless you count The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (and the movie that will follow this one).   It’s just…an awesome film, and there’s some measure of greediness here because this is a movie I would probably chop off my right arm to see on the big screen once, just once, dammit!

GUYS AND DOLLS

Really and truly, I could probably take or leave Frank Sinatra.  But it’s Marlon Brando that makes me have uber-love for Guys and Dolls.  That and the musical numbers are so darn catchy.   True story:  I once had the uh, Guys and Dolls soundtrack in my car and I was um…car singing…and um…I was stuck in traffic next to a dude in a Kia who thought my musical tastes/car singing was hilarious.   And I’m sure, not in a good way.   But really, it is my favorite Hollywood movie musical and I would love to see it in a theater.   (How does War Games get a one-night-only theatrical re-release and not Guys and Dolls?)

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