Ah, it’s a fish…monster….thing!
Here’s my issue with The Host: what I saw, I really liked and what I heard, I did not. The Host is pretty much about a gigantic fish-monster … thing spawned by scientists dumping toxic chemicals into a river that makes with the roaring and the rampaging one fine day. The survivors start coming down with a virus (or do they?) as one family struggles to find a member that they thought was dead – but really isn’t.
Since I was knocking together bookcases, I put The Host on the dubbed version since I was trying to multi-task. It’s really never a good sign when one of the voice actors does an impression of Officer Barbrady from South Park for a cop voice. I think that I missed out on a lot by not reading the subtitles and listening to the normal voices, but what I saw I liked. It’s fun and a little frenzied, if at times sorta forced.
Although…fish monster? Really?
A bunch of women go spelunking only to discover uncharted horrors!
So, things I have learned from The Descent:
- Don’t ever go spelunking in caves;
- If you do, bring extra knives, maybe a gun;
- If you spot some creepy, blind cave dwellers – run, don’t ask them for directions;
- DO NOT GO SPELUNKING WITH ANYONE NAMED JUNO;
- The Descent 2 shouldn’t even be in existence if we’re going with the “real” ending here;
- Be prepared if you are in a group stranded in an extreme situation that strikes you as the kind of place Bear Grylls would explore on camera for one or more of your friends to go batshit insane.
I think the worst part of The Descent isn’t the creepy crawlers; the film would’ve worked properly and efficiently if they hadn’t been included, with all respect. The extreme sense of claustrophobia and of being hopelessly lost is frightening enough. The breakdown between the members of the group and how they react to such a situation is even more frightening. The crawlers, actually, are just the icing on the cake, so to speak.