#1525: Worst Movies Ever – High School Musical 2

March 16, 2009 by Caitlin

Have mercy!

hsmmm2222

I know the High School Musical series is viewed as wonderful for children, but as an adult?

I got tired of “wholesome” entertainment when I was a child. One of the perks of being an adult is that I can watch movies with sex, drugs, violence or a combination thereof ANY TIME I WANT.

The musical numbers in High School Musical 2 are constructed with the charm and aesthetic stylings of a Doublemint gum commercial, which were adorable in thirty second spots but not in arduous musical numbers.

The acting? I don’t even know how the actors did. I was too distracted by Zac Efron’s Tammy Faye Bakker-like application of foundation to notice anything else. From the first five minutes it’s obvious in the most painful way what’s coming and how it’s going to be resolved. With a squeaky clean, sanitized version of teen life, it’s unfulfilling…boring…predictable. The one shining spot could have been the musical numbers but those don’t come close to hitting the mark.

I refuse to see the third one. I REFUSE.

Posted in Children, Musical, Reader's Choice | 25 Comments

25 Responses

on March 16, 2009 at 12:54 am | Reply J.D.

That’s it, our friendship is through. Through, I tell you, THROUGH!

*storms off*
on March 16, 2009 at 5:43 am | Reply stealingtime813

Actually my Reader’s Choice for you is HSM 3. Now you must watch it.
on March 16, 2009 at 8:28 am | Reply Caitlin

Through, I tell you, THROUGH!

YOU’LL BE BACK! Begging for more Eli Roth and Daniel Craig, et al., I would assume.

Actually my Reader’s Choice for you is HSM 3. Now you must watch it.

HOW ODD…Submissions are now closed! So that doesn’t count, I’m so sorry. :p
on March 16, 2009 at 1:13 pm | Reply J.D.

I’m sure I submitted HSM3 a long time ago… ;)

Also, it looks like Citizen Kane in terms of how well it’s made and thought-out next to the other two. And I love them all. SO.
on March 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm | Reply J.D.

Also, you need to post some Daniel Craig now.
on March 16, 2009 at 1:15 pm | Reply Caitlin

I nixed HSM3, remember? Because it was just coming out in theaters. ;) I refused to pay to see it.

Also, Daniel Craig shall have to wait until later on tonight. Hmph.
on March 16, 2009 at 1:23 pm | Reply J.D.

Yes, I remember, but I STILL SUBMITTED IT, DANG IT.

Please? :(

Also, TONIGHT?! Boooooo.
on March 16, 2009 at 1:35 pm | Reply Caitlin

I CAN’T DO MUCH MORE HSM, JD, for fear my brain will explode. Then who will you get your hot men crack from, hmm?

And yes, tonight. TONIGHT. You can wait!
on March 16, 2009 at 1:40 pm | Reply J.D.

If it didn’t explode after Alone in the Dark…
on March 16, 2009 at 2:24 pm | Reply Caitlin

If it didn’t explode after Alone in the Dark…

Let me finish that sentence for you: “…it could still be reaching critical mass”.

KTHANX.
on March 16, 2009 at 2:30 pm | Reply J.D.

Okay, just watch this then: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZAExN1OtVM
on March 19, 2009 at 11:02 pm | Reply patrick

u refuse but it’s the probably the super worst and most deserving of your ‘worst movie’ designation.

Ü
on March 23, 2009 at 10:18 am | Reply Fantastic Forrest

You can refuse all you like, but you know that eventually, you’ll weaken and watch.

Resistance is useless.

HSM is taking over our nation.

Do you really think he wears that much foundation? Hadn’t noticed, because I was enjoying his great singing. So there!
on March 23, 2009 at 10:23 am | Reply Caitlin

Do you really think he wears that much foundation? Hadn’t noticed, because I was enjoying his great singing. So there!

His voice is blended, did you know that? Heh.

The foundation is strikingly noticeable to me, partially because of the blush they’ve been layering on him, and that nasty Mystic Tan he’s got going on. I think he’d be a lot more attractive if they left the kid to be chemical-free, you know?
on March 23, 2009 at 10:37 am | Reply J.D.

No, Caitlin, his voice is only blended in the first movie. And HSM2 is probably the pinnacle of Zac’s hotness, imo, if not HSM3 (“Scream” omg?! *faints*).

Also, I like this Fantastic Forrest person.
on March 23, 2009 at 10:47 am | Reply Caitlin

I have to go vomit on myself now. That kid doesn’t even look legal.
on March 23, 2009 at 10:52 am | Reply J.D.

Well neither am I so it all works out! :D
on March 23, 2009 at 10:53 am | Reply Caitlin

Go make it happen, kiddo, just don’t expect me to find him handsome anytime soon.
on March 23, 2009 at 10:54 am | Reply J.D.

You’re not a teenage girl so I never expected you to in the first place?

I, on the other hand, am basically a teenage girl – just one that has to shave.

…then again, so would an Italian girl. Hm.
on March 23, 2009 at 11:55 am | Reply Fantastic Forrest

J.D. – nice way to assure I’ll check out your blog, commenting that you like me. Excellent stuff there!

Caitlin – “doesn’t even look legal?” The Zacster is TWENTY. Please. You really need to stop all this hating.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not lusting over the young man. (See my comments under your Hot Old Men posts for a hint of who gets me going.) But I think there is real talent in HSM2. And the musical numbers are GOOD. I have surveyed my fellow old people (aka those in the Juliette Binoche age range) and we agree that Bet on It is a musical masterpiece, matched only by I Don’t Dance.
on March 23, 2009 at 12:09 pm | Reply J.D.

LMFGAO “Bet On It” is such a hilariously terrible sequence? And “I Don’t Dance” is just retarded.

Obviously the closest thing to a masterpiece in HSM2 is “Fabulous”.

HSM2 kinda sucks tho on the whole. Even if it’s much more BRIGHT and BUBBLY than the first one. (And Zac is much more blue-eyed.)

YES I SAID THAT.

Which is especially what makes HSM3 so good. It’s not stifled and it’s actually cinematic. And Zac… ugh. ugggggh. UGH.

*grunts, punches hole through wall*

I was trying not to…explode all over your blog, Caitlin.
on March 23, 2009 at 12:52 pm | Reply Fantastic Forrest

J.D.!

You stop that hating right now.

Humuhumunukunukuapua’a is clearly superior to Fabulous.

I like all the vowels. They make me happy.
on March 23, 2009 at 12:54 pm | Reply J.D.

If it were so superior, WHY WAS IT CUT FROM THE FILM?

I win.
on March 23, 2009 at 1:28 pm | Reply Caitlin

But I think there is real talent in HSM2. And the musical numbers are GOOD. I have surveyed my fellow old people (aka those in the Juliette Binoche age range) and we agree that Bet on It is a musical masterpiece, matched only by I Don’t Dance.

I don’t doubt those kids are talented. I think a lot of it is the Disney Channel mythos of sanitizing everything for children’s consumption. HSM is just far too saccharine for my personal tastes. Actually, the only way I could consider it a “masterpiece” in line with my personal tastes is if one of the xenomorphs from Alien popped out and began eating people. That would be my kind of movie right there!

Honestly, HSM is not remotely in my pantheon of “likable” movies, and I can respect the fact that those kids work hard at what they do. They entertain a lot of kids and adults, and well played them. I would say my biggest issues with the HSM franchise are how boring and stilted they feel to me, as well as being way too over-the-top sugary.

Then again, my standard of awesometastic movies are how many people get their heads taken off, so I have little room to talk.

I was trying not to…explode all over your blog, Caitlin.

Thank you, dearest, for keeping it clean. Heh.

Humuhumunukunukuapua’a is clearly superior to Fabulous.

Both those songs give me stabby pains behind the eyes. Ugh, ow, ouch.
on April 12, 2009 at 5:30 am | Reply jaines

high school musical 2 is the best and sharpay are so great…….gabriella and troy isso great too…….:)