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Archive for January 6th, 2009

First off, a brief note:  If you look at the top of the page, there is a handy review index for your perusal whenever the fancy strikes you.

Secondly, andrew today suggested that I recap where we are in the Worst Movies Ever debacle.   I estimate I’m somewhere halfway through the reviews, and I hope to be finished by the end of this month.  I am really trying to grind it out here in the hopes of being finished in an expeditious manner…but, that’s a lot of movies, guys.

To be fair, I’ve attempted some brain-cleaning; some viewings of Tremors and Hot Fuzz have helped, but I think after this, I’m ready to watch classics for about a month straight.

I would say that at the rough halfway point of all the movies I’ve done, these are the top 5 worst in order:

1.   Begotten

2.  Ax ‘Em

3.  Manos:  The Hands of Fate

4.  Gigli

5.  I Know Who Killed Me

The rest are all varying states of awful with a few exceptions.   All I know is I’m trying to get creative for the other half, because there are only so many ways to get viciously wound up about how awful a movie is.

I do know, however, that this whole process has made me wonder exactly what the hell happens to movies that make them horribly wrong.  In the case of something like Meet The Spartans, it’s a poor idea that should have never met paper that was pushed along into unholy fruition.   In something like Domino‘s case, it’s generally poor execution.  It really makes me wonder who is responsible for all these messes.   Is it the scriptwriter?  The director?   The studio?   I feel as though I’m placing blame indirectly because I have no clue at whom to point the finger toward.

It’s an odd feeling.

Anyways, I have a feeling that my desire to do Reader’s Choice again will surface sometime in July of this year after I have a chance to decompress.  And we are most definitely NOT doing “Worst Movies Ever”.  Suggestions from the peanut gallery?

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number_23

The Number 23 is bad because it’s boring and because it uses an ineffectual ruse – the premise of bad things happening adding up to or involving the number 23 – to try and trick the viewer from the final outcome.

Also, weighing a movie like this on Jim Carrey is a big mistake and a no-no for any future movies.   Carrey doesn’t DO ANYTHING AT ALL.   It’s like watching a hunk of overprocessed cheese attempt to slink through a movie unnoticed.  I don’t know where that simile came from and I’m  not sure it makes sense, but that should be fairly indicative of the movie as a whole.

It should be said that my total sneering disregard from this also stems from the fact that I spent a good chunk of time unfreezing the disc from my DVD player, since it was so scratched up it barely functioned, a fact which did not further endear this movie to me or my good graces.

I wouldn’t say it’s the worst I’ve watched but it’s nowhere near the best.   It’s a shameless vanity project gone wrong.   Someone, please, for his own good – stop Jim Carrey.

…And Joel Schumacher.

There’s nothing funny about this one; it’s quite sad, actually.

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