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Archive for September 23rd, 2008

Why do you stock neither of the following movies?

Thanks to Scott for reminding me of the pure genius that is Cool as Ice.

Also, I don’t think Night of the Creeps has any sort of DVD release, which sucks – because it’s actually pretty damn funny, from what I remember.

Dammit, Netflix, there goes my lazy Sunday…

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I don’t tend to discuss politics here, so I’ll leave it out of this review, aside from a small, personal message at the bottom which you’re free to skip over if that sort of thing doesn’t interest you.

Slacker Uprising is the new movie by Michael Moore, and if you want to see it for free – you can.   Just CLICK HERE to do so.   You have to confirm that you’re a US or Canadian resident to download it, but I don’t think Mike’s going to hunt you down and take your firstborn from you if you aren’t.

Moore documented his 2004 tour with stops in 60 cities to accomplish one thing that Moore makes very clear at the beginning of the movie:  “To save John Kerry from himself” and to get people to essentially vote against Bush.

Mainly, his targets are college students, and the film follows the trials and tribulations of Moore as he goes across the country trying to urge kids to kick the president out of office.   We see appearances from celebrities and songs from well-known artists, as well as the struggles of the tour to appear on some college campuses that really don’t want Moore speaking there at all.

By now we all know Michael Moore really, really well.  If you don’t like his movies, chances are you’re not going to like this one.   I do notice that he’s not marketing this one as a “documentary” but more of a “film”, which is a good step, considering none of his films are truly objective.    I’ve noticed that there’s always one thing in each Moore movie that sets me just a tad on edge about him.   In this one, it was the fact that Moore seems to style himself as the anti-propagandist, the counter to the media’s “sucking up” to the Bush administration.   There’s a fine line that Moore is straddling where he can easily become no different than a talking head on Fox News, just skewed in a different political direction, and Moore’s lack of awareness about this makes you take pause for a moment, and kind of look at him a little oddly when he berates journalists for not doing their job and, to paraphrase, forcing Americans to pay $10 to see his films to find out the “truth”.

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You know how when you’re dating someone and they really, really like something and it irrevocably ruins it for you after you break up? Or, you meet someone that you have some sort of horrific experience with and something they like sticks out in your head and consequently you always associate them with that thing they like?

That’s what I’m talking about here. For one of my friends, it’s music; for another of one of my friends, it’s places she and her ex went.

Can you guess what it is for me? I promise, it’s really easy.

Stupid movies.

To be fair, none of these guys are bad guys; most of the time, we should’ve just never hopped on that train to Relationship City, nor should I ever have assented to have dinner with some of them in the first place. What can you do? But in the shallow crevasses of my mind, I get these things stuck in there as being connected to these fine gentlemen forever and ever and ever. But you do, at least, get random, off-putting stories about why I can’t stand these movies anymore.

So, behind the cut, five movies I can’t watch ever again, and the stories behind them.   Because that is how I can, and do, roll, my friends…

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