There’s something to be said for brevity.
Botched is a mess. It’s a funny, sort of endearing mess, but a mess nonetheless. It also makes no sense. It goes too many directions. It tries to bite off more than it can chew, with trying to make a hostage situation fearsome, satanic twins, Russian legend, quirky crazy Russian hostages, bizarre traps and weapons and something that’s wholly different from what the film sets up.
So that’s pretty much it. There’s not much good in it. I really don’t know what else to say other than I still feel confused as to what the heck was going on here, but I know it wasn’t awesome.
Also, a note to any Hollywood types: If I have to see Stephen Dorff grimace and scowl his way through one more movie with that swagger of his, my head might explode. It hasn’t been entertaining in any movie he’s been in, and it’s not entertaining now. I beg of you, please – if you have to cast the man in something, put him in a non-scowly comedic role and send his ass to Method Acting classes or something, because watching this man makes me TIRED.