I don’t know how many more complete thoughts my brain can put together after watching this not-so-fine piece of Van Dammage but, here goes the truncated review:
- Van Damme cannot even play the part of an emotionless reanimated corpse correctly. Worst. Actor. Ever.
- Dolph Lundgren is seriously scary.
- I do NOT want to see Van Damme’s butt ever again…especially that many times in a row.
- Reanimating dead soldiers and submitting them to mind control so they’ll be perfect soldiers? Yawn.
- I say there’s not enough Van Damme dancing in this one.
- Ice being used as a Band-Aid by the reanimated soldiers is so stupid.
- Bloodsport was way better. The soundtrack was especially better.
Did I love it?
OF COURSE. If you took out all of the Van Damme butt scenes, though. That just makes me want to vomit.