Worst Movies Ever – Winners!

Congratulations to the following winner and runners-up of the Worst Movies Ever contest…
Winner:  Scott from He Shot Cyrus, who broke my brain with the worst movie of all time (Begotten).
Runners-up:   Jason from Invasion of the B Movies who nominated Troll 2, Joseph at Cinexcellence who nominated Manos:  The Hands of Fate, and Sir Jorge at [...]

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#1528: Worst Movies Ever – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

It’s a movie about time-traveling, mutated turtles well versed in martial arts.   They have a rat for a sensei and Elias Koteas, who carries the disease known as “If-I’m-in-a-movie-it-will-suckitis”, as a friend.   They travel to feudal Japan and help restore peace to a region of the country.   They deal in bad action scenes, bad hair [...]

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#1527: Worst Movies Ever – Moonraker

When one of my friends found out I was doing Moonraker, he said (and I paraphrase):  “I love James Bond but I don’t even own that piece of shit, Caitlin”.   Praise, indeed!

The nominators for this one were the sisters Pookie and Schnookie, who have long James Bond marathons and enjoy such things as Murder, She [...]

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#1526: Worst Movies Ever – Just My Luck

God, this thing wears thin fast.
Just My Luck involves Ashley (Lindsay Lohan), a fashionable Manhattan career girl who has everything go her way and Jake, a guy who does something involving music and who seems to be perenially cursed with awful luck.   When the two inadvertently cross paths at a masquerade party and kiss, they [...]

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#1524: Worst Movies Ever – Alone in the Dark

Look, I have my limits, okay?   Uwe Boll just pushes me too far.

Every time I try to put coherent thoughts down about Alone in the Dark, I fail.   If you have seen a Uwe Boll movie, then you have an inkling of what’s in store for you.   If not, then this movie should have [...]

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#1523: Worst Movies Ever – Eragon

Déja vu.

When I was doing a little digging on the ‘net for general cast information about Eragon, I noticed that a lot of people seem to be mentioning that it’s a a blatant Star Wars ripoff. To some extent, that’s true, but Star Wars in and of itself rips off a lot of [...]

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#1522: Worst Movies Ever – The Wedding Date

Throw Pretty Woman and My Best Friend’s Wedding into a blender and what do you get?

I’ll put it as succinctly as I can.   Kat is a successful woman who’s only missing one thing in her life – a relationship.   After being jilted by her fiancé years earlier, she’s remained single.  A phone call from her [...]

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#1520: Worst Movies Ever – My Super Sweet Sixteen: The Movie

Think Bratz, only more patronizing and twee.
I didn’t know it was possible, but IT IS.
How weird is it that a show that’s entirely based on celebrating and glamorizing the obnoxious fetes of a group of spoiled-rotten teenagers is turned into a movie that’s about using your Super Sweet 16 for philanthropy and not excess?   ‘Mind-boggling’ [...]

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#1518: Worst Movies Ever – Glitter

If you want a movie as dull as a box of rusty razorblades, then Glitter is definitely your ticket.    Talk about a snoozefest…
A struggling singer – Mariah Carey – was abandoned by her single, lounge singer mother at a young age and since then, she’s been struggling for professional acclaim and the ability to find [...]

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#1501: Worst Movies Ever – Untraceable

I’ll preface this write up by saying Untraceable is far from the worst movie I’ve seen doing this little shindig we call “Worst Movies Ever”, but it’s a far cry from the best.    In fact, it’s just shoddy and poor all the way around.
Diane Lane plays FBI Agent Jennifer Marsh, a lady who starts out [...]

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