Posted in Comedy, Horror, Mockery, Reader's Choice, tagged Manos: The Hands of Fate, worst movies ever on November 24, 2008 | 8 Comments »
There is a problem with your movie if the title translates to “Hands: Hands of Fate”.
Confession: I had to cheat just a little bit on this one. Netflix doesn’t offer the regular version of Manos: The Hands of Fate, so I had to “settle” for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version. All in all, I’m [...]
Posted in Mockery, Movies In General, tagged Big Fish, fail, Idiocracy, Purple Rain, Red, Talladega Nights on September 23, 2008 | 28 Comments »
You know how when you’re dating someone and they really, really like something and it irrevocably ruins it for you after you break up? Or, you meet someone that you have some sort of horrific experience with and something they like sticks out in your head and consequently you always associate them with [...]
Posted in Mockery, Netflix, Review, Romance, tagged Gerard Butler, Hilary Swank, P.S. I Love You, WTF on September 21, 2008 | 14 Comments »
Family members used to say to me when I was a kid, “If you keep rolling your eyes like that, your eyes are going to roll right out of your head.” And my mother, bless her, would tell me, “Your face is gonna stick like that if you’re not careful,” when I was [...]
Posted in Action, Mockery, Netflix, Review, tagged Dolph Lundgren, Jean Claude Van Damme, Universal Soldier on September 1, 2008 | 5 Comments »
I don’t know how many more complete thoughts my brain can put together after watching this not-so-fine piece of Van Dammage but, here goes the truncated review:
Van Damme cannot even play the part of an emotionless reanimated corpse correctly. Worst. Actor. Ever.
Dolph Lundgren is seriously scary.
I do NOT want to see Van Damme’s butt ever [...]
Posted in Horror, Mockery, Netflix, Reader's Choice, Review, tagged bad movies, DeForrest Kelley, Janet Leigh, Night of the Lepus on August 13, 2008 | 8 Comments »
Edited to Add: It figures my 100th post would be about this damnable movie. Somewhere, my dad is laughing at me…in good fun, of course.
There’s a story with this one.
Years ago, when we were all smaller and shorter, my family always watched movies together. Usually my parents picked the movies, and every so [...]
Posted in Mockery, Movies In General, tagged Eli Roth, Inglorious Bastards, Quentin Tarantino, wrongness on August 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Dear Quentin,
This is like… the second letter I’ve written you. It’s not good when I write you letters, is it?
THEN LET’S STOP DOING SILLY THINGS, SHALL WE? Casting Eli Roth in Inglorious Bastards? Really?
Have you lost your ever-loving mind?
Don’t get me wrong. I know you and Eli are all buddy-buddy. You probably watch movies together [...]
Posted in Mockery, Movies In General, tagged remakes, shenanigans, Suspiria on August 7, 2008 | 8 Comments »
Look, I know why remakes get made – the almighty dollar. I get it. Well, in some ways I do and in some ways, I don’t. But for the love of all in this world that is sunshine and rainbow-y goodness, can we not leave some things alone? Can’t [...]
Posted in Mockery, Movies In General, tagged Twilight, Twilight movie on July 30, 2008 | 17 Comments »
I see a lot of confusion in the movie blogosphere about the upcoming movie Twilight, based off of the popular book series by Stephenie Meyer. Twilight fans are a hardcore little group, and the amount of internet buzz they’ve helped generate for the movie is insane. But…your rank and file movie [...]
Posted in Action, Comedy, Mockery, Netflix, Review, tagged Jean Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Street Fighter on July 10, 2008 | 8 Comments »
Posted in Action, Mockery, Review, tagged Ed Harris, Helen Mirren, Jerry Bruckheimer, National Treasure 2, Nicolas Cage on June 17, 2008 | 9 Comments »
Oh, good God.
Talk about formulaic.
Seriously, the acts are virtually the same, just with different little puzzles and similar parts. It’s like watching the first movie, but not. I certainly don’t mean that in a good way, quite frankly.
I can imagine the meeting of the minds on this one:
Jerry Bruckheimer: Okay, guys [...]
