Edited to Add: It figures my 100th post would be about this damnable movie. Somewhere, my dad is laughing at me…in good fun, of course.
There’s a story with this one.
Years ago, when we were all smaller and shorter, my family always watched movies together. Usually my parents picked the movies, and every so [...]
Archive for the ‘Mockery’ Category
Flashback: Night of the Lepus (My Mom’s Choice)
Posted in Horror, Mockery, Netflix, Reader's Choice, Review, tagged bad movies, DeForrest Kelley, Janet Leigh, Night of the Lepus on August 13, 2008 | 7 Comments »
A Letter to Tarantino on Self-Control
Posted in Mockery, Movies In General, tagged Eli Roth, Inglorious Bastards, Quentin Tarantino, wrongness on August 7, 2008 | No Comments »
Dear Quentin,
This is like… the second letter I’ve written you. It’s not good when I write you letters, is it?
THEN LET’S STOP DOING SILLY THINGS, SHALL WE? Casting Eli Roth in Inglorious Bastards? Really?
Have you lost your ever-loving mind?
Don’t get me wrong. I know you and Eli are all buddy-buddy. You probably watch movies together [...]
My Eyes, It Burns! It Burns!
Posted in Mockery, Movies In General, tagged remakes, shenanigans, Suspiria on August 7, 2008 | 8 Comments »
Look, I know why remakes get made - the almighty dollar. I get it. Well, in some ways I do and in some ways, I don’t. But for the love of all in this world that is sunshine and rainbow-y goodness, can we not leave some things alone? Can’t [...]
Everything You Wanted To Know About Twilight, But Were Afraid To Ask
Posted in Mockery, Movies In General, tagged Twilight, Twilight movie on July 30, 2008 | 12 Comments »
I see a lot of confusion in the movie blogosphere about the upcoming movie Twilight, based off of the popular book series by Stephenie Meyer. Twilight fans are a hardcore little group, and the amount of internet buzz they’ve helped generate for the movie is insane. But…your rank and file movie [...]
#1450: Street Fighter
Posted in Action, Comedy, Mockery, Netflix, Review, tagged Jean Claude Van Damme, Street Fighter, Raul Julia on July 10, 2008 | 8 Comments »
#1448: National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets
Posted in Action, Mockery, Review, tagged Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, Helen Mirren, Jerry Bruckheimer, National Treasure 2 on June 17, 2008 | 9 Comments »
Oh, good God.
Talk about formulaic.
Seriously, the acts are virtually the same, just with different little puzzles and similar parts. It’s like watching the first movie, but not. I certainly don’t mean that in a good way, quite frankly.
I can imagine the meeting of the minds on this one:
Jerry Bruckheimer: Okay, guys [...]
A Letter To Tarantino on Unrealistic Expectations
Posted in Mockery, Movies In General, Uncategorized, tagged Quentin Tarantino, Inglorious Bastards on May 28, 2008 | 5 Comments »
Oh, Quentin.
Imagine my shock when I opened up my internet browser this morning and moseyed on over to Cinematical only to discover you’ve been running that mouth of yours again. Sure, I wished for you to get on the ball about Inglorious Bastards, but not quite like this.
Via the good folks at Cinematical:
Tarantino [...]
#1437: Shaolin Against Lama
Posted in Action, Mockery, Netflix, Review, tagged Shaolin Against Lama on May 8, 2008 | No Comments »
Oh, goodness. It’s actually titled Shaolin Temple Against Lama, but Netflix lists it as the title above.
Once upon a time, I dated a guy who for Valentine’s Day gave me the best present of all: a pre-planned marathon of kung-fu movies and Chinese food for Valentine’s Day. (It should tell [...]
Flashback: House of the Dead (And A Small Rant About Uwe Boll)
Posted in Flashback, Horror, Mockery, Review, tagged Uwe Boll, House of the Dead, utter crap on March 31, 2008 | 5 Comments »
I should preface this by saying that I hate Uwe Boll’s movies. (This is probably not an unpopular opinion among movie buffs.) I’ve sat through at least four of his movies, trying desperately to find something redeeming in the hot messes he makes, but so far, I haven’t found much.
In the comments [...]
Flashback: The Point of No Return
Posted in Action, Flashback, Mockery, tagged Bridget Fonda, Gabriel Byrne, Point of No Return on March 23, 2008 | No Comments »
Oh my god, this movie is a thousand kinds of bad. There’s nothing good-bad about it, either.
Okay, first of all, I want to ask Gabriel Byrne one question and one question only: “Why were you in this remarkable piece of crap?” Oh, Gabriel. You and those pretty blue eyes are capable of so much better.
Point [...]
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