Man, I’m at a loss for words, in a way.
BMX Bandits is very clearly dated; made in 1982, it features an extremely young Nicole Kidman way before the specter of Tom Cruise fell upon her life. For god’s sake, it’s about BMX riders before BMX became this uber-cool, very fancy kind of sport full of tricks and such.
The entire plot revolves around a team of BMX riding friends who thwart some bank robbers’ best laid plans, so you know, it’s not incredibly entertaining. There’s a lot of people doing intense-but-yet-not-that-intense things on “bush bikes”, as they’re called. There’s some weird masks and some very weird things going on, but I suppose after viewing the dregs of cinema that I have seen previous to this, it’s really not all that bad.
It reminds me, really, of a Disney made for TV movie. For little kids, you know? All the authority figures are stupid and bumbling, the bank robbers are evil, evil folks, the kids are awesome and spot on and save the day. It really isn’t all that awful, just dated.
And the problem with that is that it’s just there. It’s neither good nor bad, just brief cinematic filler, filler that has survived due to the fact that Nicole Kidman became famous and there was money to be made off of shilling the film. It’s not entirely entertaining, but it has its random moments, but… it’s kind of like a piece of furniture or a car. It…just…exists.
On a good day, I credit this as the most awesomely bad film I’ve ever witnessed.
And of course I saw it just for Nicole, but w/e.
On a good day, I credit this as the most awesomely bad film I’ve ever witnessed.
Yeah, I mean…compared to Begotten? This shit is solid gold. In the normal realm, though, I tend to give kids movies a pass (which I believe it was intended to be) because they’re meant to be stupid, by and large.
Mmhmm, pretty much. But MAN it was hilariously horrible. As a kid, I seriously hate-loved it.
Their bikes were so bright, no?
I was too distracted by those fugly masks to notice a BIKE!
For god’s sake, it’s about BMX riders before BMX became this uber-cool, very fancy kind of sport full of tricks and such.
So basically, what you’re saying is it’s no Rad.
Oh who am I kidding? Very few movies in the history of ever live up to the shining beacon of awesomeness that is Rad.
Andrew, I have never seen the shining beacon of awesomeness that is Rad, please…do share!
Andrew, I have never seen the shining beacon of awesomeness that is Rad, please…do share!
Rad is the BMX movie by which all others are to be judged. It is a fantastic slice of 80’s nostalgia. I’m talking about scrappy underdogs winning the day, neon colored clothes, freestyle BMXing, antagonists who are (of course) rich, smug, and way too aryan looking. Not to mention, most importantly, it introduced the world to that epic 80’s anthem, “Send Me An Angel” by Real Life. I’m telling you Caitlin…It’s got it all.
It came out in ‘86 and for me and my fellow misled youth (ages 8-16) it was the coolest thing going. I think I begged my parents to rent it at least a couple dozen times, until ‘89, when Gleaming the Cube came out and assumed the mantle of Coolest Movie.
If Netflix has it, put on your legwarmers, rock the crimped side-ponytail, and check it out. It’s cheesy (now, not then), and it’s awesome.