This and That, You Know

So, with the Thanksgiving holidays and everything, my Netflix shipments have been backed up.  This is actually pretty good, because it’s been giving my brain a break from all those awful, awful movies I’ve been watching (I feel a little fried, I can’t lie), so tonight I’m making hot chocolate and tucking in with Witness, [...]

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#1487: Worst Movies Ever – Win A Date With Tad Hamilton

Piggly Wiggly checkout girl Rosalee is Tad Hamilton’s biggest fan, much to the delight of her best friend Cathy, who is equally Hamilton-obsessed, and much to the irritation of her best friend/boss Pete, who can’t stand Tad.   When Rosalee enters and wins a contest called ‘Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!’ which has been designed [...]

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#1486: Worst Movies Ever – High School Musical

High School Musical isn’t actually bad.

That’s not to say that it’s entirely good, either.
The main problem with High School Musical is that it is so completely bland.  Every character is like a overly simplified stereotype.   The music is instantly forgettable and there’s not a memorable moment in the whole movie.   The only bad part I [...]

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#1485: Worst Movies Ever – Manos: Hands of Fate

There is a problem with your movie if the title translates to “Hands:  Hands of Fate”.

Confession:  I had to cheat just a little bit on this one.   Netflix doesn’t offer the regular version of Manos:  The Hands of Fate, so I had to “settle” for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version.   All in all, I’m [...]

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#1484: Twilight

There’s not much more I can say about Twilight.   The best part of the movie for me personally was people-watching.   Twilight fandom is about as fan-wanky as you can get, and our audience clearly aimed to please.
The girl next to me in line, for example, uttered this finery right before entering the theater:  “And then [...]

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Entertain Me, Yo!

Oh my god, y’all. I have been waiting in the world’s most boring line for Twilight and I am surrounded by some hardcore fangirls. Please send a hug and some Stoli my way, dearests.
All I can say is that this line is more epic than my line for The Dark Knight and that [...]

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I’m Only Mostly Dead

So…I’m partially alive, I promise.   Real life events have been crazy here at 1,416 and Counting headquarters!   And I’m still trying to fully process Manos:  Hands of Fate…because…well…I think it might have lowered my IQ about eighty-five points.   (I only had 100 points to start with too, so, drats!)
However, I AM attending a fantabulously glittery [...]

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#1483: Worst Movies Ever – The Wicker Man Remake

It’s hard for me to hate on Nic Cage.
Seriously, I have a lot of love for the man.   I think it stems from the fact that Cage wasn’t going to settle for a merely mediocre film career; goddammit, if he was going to be bad, he was going to be the worst of the very [...]

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#1482: Worst Movies Ever – Ax ‘Em

I present to you the IMDB summary for reasons that will become clearer later:
A weekend retreat at a remote cabin in the woods for a group of childhood pals turns into a terrifying fight for survival, as a former friend whose family was killed years earlier comes along looking for revenge.
Tonight, Younger Sister joined me [...]

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#1481: Worst Movies Ever – Grizzly Rage

Okay.
Normally I can find some measure of sympathy in my heart for even the worst movie. Oftentimes I find myself weighing the sadly few pros to the vast amount of cons, looking for good in even the worst piles of steaming crap.
There is but one, solitary pro to the ocean of cons in [...]

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