Nightmare Week: Freddy’s Dead

The light at the end of the tunnel…I can see it!

First problem:   This movie comes with very stylin’ 3-D glasses.   It was originally in 3-D, and let me tell you, it is not impressive.

Second problem:

Freddy Krueger haunting someone as the Wicked Witch of the West is neither scary nor inventive.   It’s just sad.

Third problem:  Well…everything.

Without going through this one bit by bit, it’s basically this:   Krueger had a child before he got roasted, and he needs the kid to help him move out of Springwood and onto bigger and better things.   His kid is Maggie, although the film initially leads you to believe otherwise.   Maggie is a social worker taking care of four kids in a shelter who takes one back to Springwood to see if his memory will come back after she discovers items about Springwood on his person.   (His memory has been wiped, presumably by Freddy.)

Of course, Freddy starts in with the killing.

I don’t have much left in me at this point to make fun of this one.   It is almost painful to watch, primarily because the movie tries to be very cool for the time period (one character dies after being sucked into a video game, for heaven’s sakes) and it fails.   It fails massively and miserably.    This is the kind of movie you want to take out in the backyard and put out of its misery because you’re afraid it might be contagious.

The three death scenes are far from anything to write home about, and the idea of Freddy’s daughter being the last to finally “kill” Freddy is just outright cheating anyone who remotely likes the series.  For the first time in six films, Freddy is actually dead  (excluding Freddy vs. Jason), and the idea of Maggie – a very unlikeable, boring character – being the one to cement his fate is so cheap it’s almost criminal.

Don’t get me started on the 3-D.

I can only guess that the moviemakers wanted to have some campy fun with the “last” installment and thus went the 3-D route, throwing every hackneyed 3-D gimmick into the movie, including the stupid shots of characters thrusting things at the screen to shock the viewer.   It should be noted as a matter of fact that this sucks.   They even have Maggie put on 3-D glasses in her dream to let the viewer know to put on their 3-D glasses.    Watching the 3-D part of the movie (or even in 2-D, when you can tell that it’s clearly a 3-D section) is like having a lobotomy.   It was like I could feel my brain dripping out of my ears while my IQ plummeted fifty points in three seconds.

Another thing is this:   It’s completely unnecessary to give the bad guy more backstory than he already has.   We know how he was conceived, born and died; we know about his mom the nun and that he was a real person.   We know his M.O. now that he lives on in people’s dreams.   Any further exposition is unnecessary, right?

OF COURSE NOT.   If you’re making this movie, why not give Freddy a little extra meat in such moronic ways?    We see here in the above photo how Freddy got his powers, due to evil…things offering him the proverbial deal with the Devil to live on forever.   Is that necessary?   No.   It’s just wasted minutes and so on.   We get way too much information, as a matter of fact, and we also learn that Freddy had a wife and what he looked like when he was human.    Since no one cares about that crap by this point in the series, it’s dead weight.

Normally I try and find some ray of hope in bad movies but this one is totally rotten, beginning to end.   There’s absolutely no value to it.   You’d think I could at least make one stupid, cheap joke at this movie’s expense, but I think it says a lot that I’m not even that motivated.