Upcoming Movies That Make Caitlin Go, “EEE!”

June 25, 2008 by Caitlin

Here on 1,416 and Counting I normally do old movies. They usually haven’t been in a theater in years. However, this doesn’t mean I don’t keep up on new movies; it’s just that some of them (like Beverly Hills Chihuahua) strike me as not worth my time, suicide-inducing or a movie you couldn’t pay me to see. So this week, while I catch up on reviews and get my business in order with Netflix, I’m going to be running movies I’m absolutely itching to see in the theater by release date.

So here’s the first five movies I’m dying to see…

WANTED (June 27th)

Boy meets girl. Girl tells him he’s supposed to really be a super-secret assassin. Girl and boy shoot things. Woo!

Pros: Directed by the guy that did Night Watch and Day Watch; features my Russian crack-actor Konstantin Khabensky in a minor role; Angelina Jolie (with guns!); yummy James McAvoy; Morgan Freeman dropping f-bombs (God curses?); Thomas Kretschmann; the whole movie just screams “whee, let’s shoot things!”; cool gun fight scenes; yummy James McAvoy; …shirtless James McAvoy. Mmm.

James McAvoy. Yup.

Cons: Guns defy the laws of physics. Hmm. But there’s still James McAvoy, right?

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (July 11th)

This sequel to the first Hellboy pits the named superhero against some more supernatural bad dudes..wwho apparently have an army that’s shiny and golden.

Pros: Selma Blair rules and she’s back for this one; Guillermo del Toro can do little wrong; Ron Perlman is a badass who rules everything he’s ever been in (including City of Lost Children and Perlman doesn’t even speak French); the effects look awesome.

Cons: Did the first Hellboy make enough money or generate enough interest to justify a sequel? How the hell did this get made?

THE DARK KNIGHT (July 18th)

If you don’t know what this movie’s about, you’ve been living under a rock.

Pros: Christian Bale; Gary freakin’ Oldman; if it’s half as good as Batman Begins people are going to leave the theater drooling on themselves; the producers/director told Katie Holmes to take a hike after she became all Tom Cruise-d and Scientology obsessed and cast the marginally better Maggie Gyllenhall in her place; Heath Ledger as the Joker looks like it’s going to be eighty kinds of win.

Cons: May feel creepy after watching Heath Ledger’s final performance as a psychotic madman who wears only slightly less makeup than Tammy Faye Bakker; can the sequel be better than the reboot?

TROPIC THUNDER (August 15th)

A bunch of spoiled rotten Hollywood megastars are filming a war movie in the jungle when the director gets upset over their diva antics and instead, leaves them out in the jungle to fight a real war and get it on film.

Pros: I still think Ben Stiller is funny; Robert Downey, Jr. is playing a white dude who is playing a black guy with hilarious results (I really didn’t realize it was RDJ in the initial teaser posters!); by all accounts the movie appears to be a perfect storm of funny with excellent buzz behind it.

Cons: Is Ben Stiller starting to go the Mike Myers/Adam Sandler route where he’s playing out old jokes again?; is Jack Black playing Jack Black going to actually be not annoying?; very unlikely that Robert Downey, Jr. will be shirtless but I suspect there’s a large possibility that Jack Black might take his shirt off. Eww.

IGOR (September 19th)

In a world populated by Mad Scientists and their assistants, Igors, one Igor wants to actually be a scientist! Heaven forbid!

Pros: Ohmigod, John Cusack; looks cute and funny without being saccharine, maybe like Finding Nemo; animation looks good; my irrational full-on love for John Cusack knows no bounds so if I sat through Must Love Dogs it’s pretty much a requirement that I see this.

Cons: You know there’s going to be eight billion and one cross-promotional merchandise items that tie in with this, so you’re going to be bombarded with Igor everywhere you go; little children will make you hate this movie with the passion of a thousand fiery nuns; John Cusack really is past his expiration date even though I internally cannot admit it.

Posted in Action, Comedy, Movies In General, Sci-Fi | Tagged Wanted, Tropic Thunder, Igor, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, The Dark Knight, upcoming movies | 15 Comments

15 Responses to “Upcoming Movies That Make Caitlin Go, “EEE!””

on June 25, 2008 at 4:14 am1 J.D.

The laws of physics are for COWARDS. COWARDS!!!
on June 25, 2008 at 4:58 am2 striderdemme

Heck yeah. Keep forgetting about Hellboy II.
on June 25, 2008 at 3:18 pm3 Caitlin

The laws of physics are for COWARDS. COWARDS!!!

I take it you’ll be there on opening day, huh, J.D.? :D

Heck yeah. Keep forgetting about Hellboy II.

I think I’m more excited for Hellboy II than I was for the first Hellboy. Huh.
on June 25, 2008 at 3:50 pm4 Nick Plowman

Yeah, so you already know that I think “Wanted” is awesome.

“The Dark Knight” was and still is the summer blockbuster I am most looking forward to, I just want to see Health again…and from what I have heard it is great.

I am looking forward to all those films listed up there to be honest, so kudos on the great taste ;)
on June 25, 2008 at 3:55 pm5 Caitlin

I am looking forward to all those films listed up there to be honest, so kudos on the great taste ;)

Thanks! After July I was shocked at how much I did not want to see. I may have to do “Movies Coming Out That You Couldn’t Drag Caitlin Kicking And Screaming To See”.

Seriously…it’s pathetic.
on June 25, 2008 at 3:56 pm6 J.D.

Oh, you know it Cait.

Friday’s gonna be brain-explodingly awesome.

I mean, James… *sigh*
on June 26, 2008 at 12:42 am7 Rachel

I would pay $9 just to see James McAvoy shirtless. If he was completely naked, I’d throw in my left kidney. Hey, I’ve got two for a reason!
on June 26, 2008 at 2:15 am8 Caitlin

Hey, I’ve got two for a reason!

Woo, I’m right there with you, Rachel! This is EXACTLY how I feel. :D
on June 26, 2008 at 4:43 am9 J.D.

Me too, me too!!!
on June 26, 2008 at 5:06 am10 Caitlin

Me too, me too!!!

We can set up an “Organs for Shirtless James McAvoy” charity. :D
on June 27, 2008 at 12:13 pm11 J.D.

*drools*
on July 6, 2008 at 11:41 pm12 Kevin

Don’t forget Kung Fu Panda and Pineapple Express.

And I know I will see Beverly Hills Chihuahua, because Jamie Lee Curtis is in it. I have always loved her since seeing Halloween as a six-year-old.
on July 6, 2008 at 11:42 pm13 Kevin

Also, Wanted was ass. And Hancock was awesome. The exact opposite of what the critics wanted me to think. But there ya go.
on July 8, 2008 at 1:50 pm14 Caitlin

Also, Wanted was ass. And Hancock was awesome. The exact opposite of what the critics wanted me to think. But there ya go.

That’s so depressing! A friend of mine told me Wanted was horrible and I was just hoping that he was terribly, terribly wrong.

I’m glad you liked Hancock - my irrational, horrible hatred of Will Smith movies will prevent me from ever seeing it.

Don’t forget Kung Fu Panda and Pineapple Express.

And I know I will see Beverly Hills Chihuahua, because Jamie Lee Curtis is in it. I have always loved her since seeing Halloween as a six-year-old.

Kung Fu Panda I’m not stoked about but Pineapple Express I am, especially after seeing the teaser posters with James Franco.

I’d like to say that I’d skip Beverly Hills Chihuahua, but I have a feeling I’ll end up seeing it one way or another, either via a friend or someone else.
on July 9, 2008 at 4:41 pm15 Kevin

On DVD, I might add. I have too much pride to watch that amongst other people.

I just wish the bitch would make some more good movies. Christmas with the Kranks and now this?

Someone needs to offer her some decent parts, so she doesn’t have to shill poo-yoghurt or rant and rave about being 50.

Yeah, I know what you’re saying about Will Smith movies. But this is one of his best performances and characters in any of his movies. He doesn’t use his schtick once, thankfully.