#1445: Return to House on Haunted Hill

A sequel to a remake. Oookay, if you say so.

This is one of those odd movies that’s not bad, but it’s not good, either. It’s just there. Existing. Being. It has no value, no worth, and no substance.
Return to House on Haunted Hill is [...]

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#1444: C.H.U.D.

So, I have this thing I do in “real life” all the time.   I’ll be somewhere with a friend and I’ll be reminded of something and I will turn to said friend and say, “Hey, have you ever seen [insert movie here]?  Because this totally reminds me of that.”
Usually I’m met with a blank stare, [...]

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Movie Crack: Patriot Games

The first time I watched this movie, I kind of felt like, “Is this movie a joke? No, they’re for real! They’re for real! Holy cow, they’re serious. Oh my god, this is awesome in such a bad way.”

Jack Ryan is all business. First he takes on [...]

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A Letter To Tarantino on Unrealistic Expectations

Oh, Quentin.
Imagine my shock when I opened up my internet browser this morning and moseyed on over to Cinematical only to discover you’ve been running that mouth of yours again. Sure, I wished for you to get on the ball about Inglorious Bastards, but not quite like this.
Via the good folks at Cinematical:
Tarantino [...]

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#1443: Trading Places (Reader’s Choice)

Ah, the days before Eddie Murphy was a total primadonna.

With Eddie Murphy’s career in a constant state of decline the past ten years or so, it’s hard for me to remember a time when moviegoers actually liked him. It’s hard to remember the Trading Places/Coming to America era when you’re deluged with The [...]

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#1442: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

This movie rules. It rules everything!

It’s by no means a perfect movie, but if you love the Indiana Jones movies…are you ever gonna be pleased.
In the start of the movie, Indy’s back to being the mild-mannered college professor, teaching at his university and generally doing his thing, but some Russians have another idea. [...]

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Movie Crack: Clue

Someday, when the aliens invade and begins systematically changing people into their minions, Clue will be my litmus test to determine who’s human….and who is not!

That’s right, I said it: If you don’t like Clue, there’s something wrong with you and yes, you probably are a pod person.
I can’t tell you how many times [...]

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#1441: Rio Bravo

Oh, John Wayne. How I love your movies.

I think it’s kind of unfair for me to review John Wayne movies; after all, I have a set stable of John Wayne movies that I remember watching growing up that remain favorites for me, like The Sands of Iwo Jima, The Sons of Katie Elder [...]

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#1440: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

What a long title.
Anyways, my mother, upon discovering that I was sitting down to watch Dr. Strangelove, promptly admonished me that I really needed to see Fail-Safe to get Dr. Strangelove one hundred percent, but I saw the remake with George Clooney and that’s what counts, so there.

I guess you could sum up Dr. Strangelove [...]

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#1439: The Importance of Being Russell

Soooo, a little while ago, I got sent this nifty little screener of an independent film called The Importance of Being Russell.
It’s a hard movie to nail down, but I guess it would best be described as ’50’s sci-fi fare with a healthy dose of redneck comedy with a splash of the comedic sensibilities of [...]

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